October 2000,a breath of life was unfolded in my womb
I felt elated by the idea of your existence
I carried your fragile heart in my womb
And for months I’ve waited for your arrival
For days and weeks,I’ve counted and waited,nourishing you with all the love I had.
We shared quite a few things together,my heartbeat was yours,
A breath of air, we shared….
You were my own flesh….my blood
I had so many plans for you
I painted your room with love
Hoping you’de soon fill our empty house with love.
Few months went by and then,the doctors told us you were no more
A heart so pure has stopped beating
An innocent soul was broken
Without a name,you were long gone
No service was held…
No final words to say goodbye…
I would have loved to hold your tiny body in my arms,
Tickle your tiny toes as I make you giggle
I would have loved to hear your smooth laugh
Stroke your smooth skin as you peacefully rest in my arms
I would have loved to see you grow, to see your first footsteps and hear your first words
I would have just loved to meet you,and share my life with you.
Later in the evening .. I, your mother felt most melancholy
I laid forlorn on my bed, singing lullabies to myself
I mourned for you in my deep sleep
I cannot erase the memories we shared, memories so short yet very special
My anguished cry gets deeper by day when I think of how much I’ve lost.
Halfway you came…and halfway it ended
Too close to be a mother,
Too close to finally meet you.
This world wasn’t meant for you, and so ,the Heavens called you back home
The Heavens chose my unborn child
How special you are, to have been the chosen one
Today I rest assured knowing that you are in safer place
No pain shall follow you,
Your golden heart will remain purer and your soul will remain at peace.
I remain your mother still… because what makes a mother lies not only in the child you bear
What makes a mother lies within the heart……